NF - How Could You Leave Us Lyrics

How Could You Leave Us Lyrics

Hook
How could you leave us so unexpected?
We were waiting, we were waiting
For you but you just left us
We needed you, I needed you

Verse 1
Yo, I don't know what it's like to be addicted to pills
But I do know what it's like to be a witness it kills
Mama told me she love me, I'm thinking this isn't real
I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell, yeah
Welcome to the bottom of hell
They say pain is a prison, let me out of my cell
You say you proud of me, but you don't know me that well
Sit in my room, tears running down my face and I yell
Into my pillowcases, you say you coming to get us
Then call 'em a minute later just to tell us you not, I'm humiliated
I'm in a room with a parent that I don't barely know
Some lady in the corner watching us, while she taking notes
I don't get it mom, don't you want to watch your babies grow?
I guess that pills are more important, all you have to say is no
But you won't do it will you? You gon' keep popping 'til those pills kill you
I know you gone but I can still feel you

Hook
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Oh, Hey

Verse 2
I got this picture in my room and it kills me
But I don't need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing
Now a relationship is something we won't ever have
Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?
You shoulda been there when I graduated
Told me you love me and congratulations
Instead you left us at the window waiting
Where you at mom? We're too young to understand where you at huh?
Yeah, I know those drugs got you held captive
I can see it in your eyes, they got your mind captured
Some say it's fun to get the high but I am not laughing
What you don't realise and what you not grasping
That I was nothing but a kid who couldn't understand
I ain't gon' say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened
I thought that maybe I feel better as time passes
If you really cared for me, then where you at then?

Hook
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey

Verse 3
Our last conversation, you were sat in the living room
Talking 'bout my music and I brought you something to listen to
You started crying, telling me this isn't you
Couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune
You took them pills for the last time, didn't you?
They took you from us once, guess they came back to finish you
Crying my eyes out in the studio is difficult
Music is the only place that I can go to speak to you
Took me everything inside of me to not scream at your funeral
Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful
I wish you were here mama but every time I picture you
All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you
They found you on the floor, I could tell that you felt hallow
Gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
You gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
Don't know if you hear me or not, but if you still watching ma

Hook
Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us? Why would you leave us?
Hey

Outro
(Sobbing) Sometimes I think about like, sometimes I think about things like, you know, when I have kids, you won't be there, you know? You won't be there for any of that, I'll never get to see you again, sometimes I wish I would have just called you, I wish I would have just picked up the phone, wish you were here, I mean you should of been there for us, you should have been here, those pills got you, right? Them pills got you, right? I wish you were here


How Could You Leave Us

How Could You Leave Us Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration

NF's song "How Could You Leave Us," released on January 26, 2017, is a profoundly raw and vulnerable expression of grief and pain. The track delves deep into the artist's personal experience of losing his mother to a pill addiction. The opening hook immediately establishes the central theme, questioning the sudden departure and expressing the unmet need and devastating sense of abandonment left behind. This isn't just a question of physical absence but a deep emotional wound caused by the circumstances surrounding her death.

Throughout the verses, NF paints a vivid and often heartbreaking picture of his childhood and the destructive impact of addiction on his family. He reflects on witnessing the struggle firsthand, the broken promises, and the humiliation of being in a difficult situation due to his mother's choices. The lyrics convey a complex mix of emotions – confusion ("I don't get it mom"), anger ("I guess that pills are more important"), and a desperate longing for a normal parent-child relationship that was never fully realized. He acknowledges his mother's addiction ("those drugs got you held captive," "they got your mind captured") but doesn't shy away from the hurt it caused, stating the difficulty in offering forgiveness for the pain endured.

The song progresses to grapple with the aftermath of loss, touching upon the difficulty of remembering his mother without feeling immense pain. He speaks of looking at a picture, realizing the physical presence is gone and the chance for a genuine relationship is lost forever. The graduation event is highlighted as a poignant example of a milestone missed, further emphasizing the void left by her absence. The final verse recounts a last conversation, a brief moment of connection shattered by the tragic outcome, illustrating how addiction ultimately took her life after previous struggles. Creating music becomes a therapeutic outlet, the only way to feel connected and express the unspeakable grief.

The outro provides a raw, unfiltered glimpse into the lasting impact of this loss. Through audible sobs, NF expresses the enduring pain and the realization of future life events, like having his own children, that his mother will never witness. It's a deeply personal moment that underscores the permanence of death caused by addiction and the regret of missed opportunities for connection. The repetition of the question "Them pills got you, right?" serves as a powerful, painful summary of the force that ultimately separated them. "How Could You Leave Us" stands as a poignant testament to the devastation addiction leaves in its wake, offering an unflinching look at the emotional cost for those left behind and resonating with listeners who have navigated similar paths of loss and complicated grief.

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