Woke up 'cause the light poured in
Day two let the flood begin
Day one left me in my bed (In my bed)
I can barely remember it
Heart shattered in a thousand ways
They tell me pain gonna come in waves
They tell me I'm gonna be okay
I'm still waitin' for the first to break
Why would You give and then take him away?
Suddenly end, could You not let it fade?
What I would give for a couple of days
A couple of days
Is it just across the Jordan?
Or a city in the stars?
Are you singin' with the angels?
Are you happy where you are?
Well, until this show is over
And you run into my arms
God has you in Heaven
But I have you in my heart
I have you in my heart
I just can't make sense of this
Everything is so dissonant
Somebody said he was meant for this
But I'm just straight missin' him
I wanna wake up to your laugh at two
Catch you when you steal my shoes
Say good mornin', afternoon
Talk you through those "Alex blues" (Alex blues)
Listen to your latest beats
Talk about what the lyrics mean
Venmo you another loan (Another loan)
See you do your second show
You said you'd turn, you would turn it around (Turn it around)
Thought that you had time to straighten it out (Straighten it out)
Told me that you were my prodigal son
But this isn't home
Is it just across the Jordan?
Or a city in the stars?
Are you singin' with the angels?
Are you happy where you are?
Well, until this show is over
And you run into my arms
God has you in Heaven
But I have you in my heart
I have you in my heart
Did he see You from a long way off (Did he see you?)
Runnin' to him with a father's heart? (Runnin' to him)
Did You wrap him up inside Your arms
And let him know that he's home?
Did he see You from a long way off
Runnin' to him with a father's heart?
Did You wrap him up inside Your arms
And let him know that he's home?
Is it just across the Jordan?
Or a city in the stars? (City in the stars)
Are you singin' with the angels?
Are you happy where you are? (Happy where you are)
Well, until this show is over
And you run into my arms (Run into my arms)
God has you in Heaven
21 years makes a man full-grown
21 years, what a beautiful loan
21 years, I love everyone
Thank You, Lord, for my beautiful son
21 Years
21 Years Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration
TobyMac's song "21 Years" is a deeply personal and poignant reflection on profound loss. Released in January 2020, the song quickly resonated with listeners, offering an unvarnished look at the raw pain and complex emotions experienced in the wake of sudden death. The lyrics unfold as a raw journal entry, beginning with the overwhelming shock and disbelief of the initial days after the event. Phrases like "Day two let the flood begin" and "Heart shattered in a thousand ways" vividly capture the immediate aftermath of grief, expressing a state where common reassurances feel distant and ineffective. The opening lines convey the struggle to process the reality, questioning the divine act of both giving and taking away, and expressing a desperate wish for just a few more moments with the departed.
As the song progresses, it moves into a series of poignant questions reflecting the uncertainty and hope about the loved one's current state. The recurring refrain "Is it just across the Jordan? Or a city in the stars? Are you singin' with the angels? Are you happy where you are?" encapsulates the longing to understand the reality of the afterlife and find comfort in the possibility of peace for the soul. This section beautifully articulates the human desire for connection and reassurance even in separation. The powerful declaration "God has you in Heaven, but I have you in my heart" serves as a central theme, balancing the faith in a divine plan and eternal destination with the enduring, tangible presence the person holds in the heart of the one left behind. This sentiment offers a sense of peace while acknowledging the continued ache of absence.
The verses delve into specific, heart-wrenching details of daily life now lost, painting a vivid picture of the unique personality and relationship shared. Mentioning "wake up to your laugh at two," "steal my shoes," "Alex blues," "latest beats," and "Venmo you another loan" highlights the intimate, routine moments that are suddenly gone, emphasizing the depth of the void left behind. The lyrics also touch upon challenges and hopes for the future, referencing the idea of "turn it around" and the concept of the "prodigal son," a term drawn from Luke 15:11-32, illustrating a father's unconditional love and hope for return. The line "But this isn't home" starkly contrasts the hopeful biblical narrative with the tragic reality of an unexpected end, underscoring the pain that the hoped-for earthly return never materialized.
A powerful bridge section directly addresses God, drawing again on the imagery from the parable of the Prodigal Son. The questions "Did he see You from a long way off? Runnin' to him with a father's heart? Did You wrap him up inside Your arms and let him know that he's home?" express a longing for assurance that the loved one was met with grace, love, and acceptance upon entering the next life. This reflects a father's deep desire for his child to find ultimate belonging and peace in God's presence, embodying the divine welcome described in scripture for those who turn to Him.
The song concludes by returning to the central affirmation of faith and love, reiterating the hope of future reunion while placing the loved one in God's care. The final lines shift from questioning grief to a profound statement of gratitude and acceptance. "21 years makes a man full-grown, 21 years, what a beautiful loan" re-frames the time shared not as something unjustly taken, but as a precious gift, finite yet deeply valued. The closing lines "21 years, I love everyone, Thank You, Lord, for my beautiful son" offer a final, powerful act of surrender and thanksgiving, acknowledging the love for all family members while focusing the ultimate gratitude towards God for the life, however brief, of the son he cherishes, finding a measure of peace in remembering the gift he received. The official music video for the song was released on January 10, 2020, further sharing this deeply personal message with the world.
