Chorus: Fleurie
Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)
Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion
Verse 1: NF
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics
They're all over the place, there's songs in the mirrors
Written all over the floors, all over the chairs
And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs
That's where I write when I'm in a bad place and need to release
And let out the version of NF you don't want to see
I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed
You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me
Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't want to be in
That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't want to see it
And these walls ain't blank, I just think I don't want to see 'em
But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em
I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around
Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
Matter of fact I think Ima burn this room right now
Somehow this memory for some reason just won't come down
You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes
Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed and I cried
Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
But Ima keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside
Chorus
Verse 2: NF
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain
See my problem is I don't fix things
I just try to repaint, cover 'em up, like it never happen
Say I wish I could change. Are you confused?
Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean
This room's full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller it seems
The moment I walk in to it is the same moment that I wanna leave
I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things
But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep
I look around. One of the worst things I wrote on these walls
Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
And one of the first things I wrote was I wish I would have called
But I should just stop now, we ain?t got enough room in this song
And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am
And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can
Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like it's out of my hands
Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans
And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive
And at the rate I'm going they'll probably still be there when I die
Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
The question is: Will I ever clean the walls off in time?
Chorus
Verse 3: NF
So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years
I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there
Cause if I do, there's a chance
That they might disappear and not come back
And I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside
So I just leave my doors locked
You might get other doors to open up but this doors not
Cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me
I'm barricaded inside
So stop watching
I'm not coming to the door
So stop knocking, stop knocking
I'm trapped here
God keep saying I'm not locked in
I chose this
I am lost in my own conscience
I know that shutting the wall down ain't solving the problem
But I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve ?em
I built it because I thought that it would be safer in there
But it's not, I'm not the only thing that's living in here
Fear came to my house years ago I let 'em in
Maybe that's the problem
Cause I've been dealing with this ever since
I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did
He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in
Now I'm in the position it's either sit here and let him win
Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can
Cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors
Is that me or the fear talking?
I don't know anymore
Mansion Video
Mansion Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration
Introduction
The song "Mansion" by NF is a powerful and introspective track that delves into the internal struggles and emotional pain that the artist has experienced. NF, whose real name is Nathan Feuerstein, is known for his raw and honest lyrics, and "Mansion" is no exception.
Verse 1: A House of Pain
The song begins with NF describing his mind as a house with walls covered in lyrics. These lyrics represent the thoughts and emotions that he has scribbled all over the walls of his mind. He mentions that these lyrics are scattered throughout the house, even in the mirrors, floors, and chairs. This imagery paints a picture of a mind consumed by his inner thoughts and struggles.
NF then reveals that there is a room in his mind where he writes when he is in a bad place and needs to release his emotions. This room is a metaphor for the darkest aspects of his past, particularly his experience with physical abuse. He describes putting holes in the walls with his fists, a vivid portrayal of the pain and anger he carries. Despite the darkness in this room, he acknowledges that these memories are a part of him and that he cannot simply ignore or erase them.
Chorus: Loneliness and Questions
The chorus sung by Fleurie introduces the theme of loneliness and existential questions. She sings, "Insidious is blind inception, What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in." These lines suggest that NF is grappling with the confusion and uncertainty of life. He feels disconnected from reality and trapped within his own mind.
The chorus also emphasizes the isolation NF feels within his "mansion." Despite having all these thoughts and emotions surrounding him, he still feels lonely. The mansion, a metaphor for his mind, becomes a place of solitude rather than a sanctuary.
Verse 2: Repression and Regret
In the second verse, NF continues to explore the pain and struggles he carries within his mind. He admits that his coping mechanism is to try to cover up his problems rather than addressing them head-on. He tries to repaint the walls, metaphorically hiding his pain and pretending as if it never happened. However, he acknowledges that this approach only leads to more regrets and an ever-growing sense of emptiness.
NF reflects on the negative experiences he has written on the walls of his mind. He mentions the loss of his mother and the regret of not having called her more often. These regrets weigh heavily on him and contribute to the turmoil within his mind. Despite his attempts to ignore them, they persistently haunt him.
Verse 3: Fear and Isolation
The third verse delves deeper into NF's struggles with fear and isolation. He describes another room in his mind, a safe room where he keeps his deepest fears locked away. He admits that he is emotionally scared to let anyone inside, fearing that they will hurt or abandon him. This fear has led him to barricade himself within his own thoughts, shutting out the world in an attempt to protect himself.
NF questions whether the fear he feels is his own voice or an external influence. He wonders if he is trapped in this cycle of fear and isolation because he cannot differentiate between his own thoughts and the lies that have been ingrained in his mind. He acknowledges that he needs to confront and overcome this fear, but he is unsure of how to do so.
Biblical Analysis
The song "Mansion" by NF resonates with biblical themes of struggle, pain, and the need for healing. Throughout the song, NF expresses his internal battles, which align with the biblical concept of the brokenness and fallen nature of humanity. The Bible acknowledges that we live in a broken world filled with suffering and pain (Romans 8:22).
NF's description of his mind as a house with walls covered in pain and regrets reflects the biblical idea that our minds and hearts can be burdened with hurt and sin. The Bible encourages believers to bring their pain and burdens to God, who offers healing and redemption (Matthew 11:28-30).
The theme of isolation and loneliness in the song also finds resonance in the Bible. In Psalm 34:18, it says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This verse reminds us that even in our darkest moments, God is with us, offering comfort and companionship. NF's yearning for connection and his struggles with isolation can find solace in the presence of God.
Furthermore, the song speaks to the importance of facing and addressing our pain rather than repressing it. The Bible encourages believers to bring their burdens to God, to confess their sins, and to find healing and forgiveness (1 John 1:9). NF's journey of self-reflection and the desire to confront his past aligns with biblical teachings on repentance and seeking a transformed life.
Conclusion
"Mansion" by NF is a deeply introspective song that explores the artist's internal struggles and pain. It delves into themes of isolation, fear, and the need for healing. Through his raw and honest lyrics, NF invites listeners to reflect on their own struggles and the importance of addressing and finding healing for their emotional wounds. While the song does not explicitly reference biblical principles, its themes align with biblical teachings on brokenness, healing, and the need for a relationship with God.
