NF - Hate Myself Lyrics
Lyrics
Chorus
I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Verse 1
Yeah, late nights are the worst for me
They bring out the worst in me
Mind runnin', got me feelin' like it hurts to think
If this is all that I wanted, I don't want it, gotta be more for me
All the core beliefs
And every mornin' I wake up and feel like I am not worth it 'cause I'm at war with peace
I go to Hell, walk up to the corpse of me
Look at the body like, "You ain't nothin' but poor and weak"
It's kinda weird
Lately I been feelin' like the only way for me to get away is if I pour the drink
That's more deceit, more defeat
Is this really what I'm born to be?
That's what you get for thinkin' you're unique
So poor, but I'm so wealthy
Need help, but you can't help me
What else can the world sell me?
Tell me lies, I still buy 'em like they're goin' outta stock
But it's not healthy
Chorus
I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Verse 2
Yeah, late nights get the best of me
They know how to get to me
Suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me
But I don't wanna die, I just wanna get relief
So don't talk to me like you think I'm so successful
What is success when hope has left you?
I am not a spokesman, I'm a broken record
Sick of doin' interviews 'cause I hate myself, agh!
Come across like it's so easy
But I feel like you don't need me
When I feel like you don't need me
Then I feel like you don't see me
And my life has no meaning, drain me
Hands out, tryna ask for love
But when I get it, I just pass it up
Throw it away and think about it later
Diggin' through the trash for drugs
Wish I could give you what you needed, but I can't
I'm scared because
Chorus
I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Verse 3
I walk through the ashes of my passions
Reminiscin' with the baggage in my casket
Get lost in the questions I can't answer
Can't stand who I am, but it don't matter
We scream to be free, but I stay captured
Knee-deep in defeat of my own actions
Feel weak, but the peace that I keep lacking
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it
But I can't have it
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it
But I can't have it
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it
Chorus
I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Hate myself
But it's hard when I hate myself
Hate myself
But it's hard when I hate myself
Outro
When I hate myself
It's kinda hard when I hate myself
I hate myself
It's hard when I hate myself
Video
NF - Hate Myself (Audio)
Meaning & Inspiration
NF's "Hate Myself," released on July 26, 2019, delves into a raw and unflinching confrontation with self-loathing, a sentiment that resonates deeply with many who grapple with internal battles. While not explicitly a Christian song, its themes of personal struggle and the search for self-acceptance can be understood through the lens of faith, offering a poignant reflection on the human condition as seen through a biblical perspective. The song's narrative centers on the artist's internal conflict, a relentless cycle of self-criticism and the feeling of being undeserving of good things. This resonates with the biblical understanding of sin's corrosive effect on our perception of ourselves, as it often distorts our view of God's creation, including our own being. The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, articulates a similar struggle when he writes, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) no good thing dwells, for willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not" (Romans 7:18). This verse captures the essence of the internal war NF describes, a wrestling with the darker impulses and negative self-talk that can plague the mind.
The song's power lies in its honest portrayal of this inner turmoil, suggesting that the artist feels trapped by his own thoughts and perceived flaws. This echoes the scriptural concept of being bound by sin, a spiritual captivity that can lead to despair. However, within this bleak landscape, there’s a subtle yearning for something more, a desire to break free from the self-imposed prison. This yearning for liberation is a powerful undercurrent that aligns with the Christian message of redemption and the possibility of transformation. The Bible teaches that even in our brokenness, God’s love is unwavering, and His grace is sufficient to overcome our deepest struggles. As Jesus himself said, "The Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see him or know him. You know him, for he abides with you, and he will be in you" (John 14:17). This promise of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling presence offers hope for overcoming negative thought patterns and finding a new identity rooted in God's truth. The song, in its unvarnished expression of pain, serves as a testament to the pervasive nature of self-doubt, but it also implicitly points towards the possibility of healing and finding peace, a peace that ultimately transcends our own efforts and is found in surrendering to a higher purpose and a love that is unconditional.