NF - Change Lyrics
Lyrics
Verse 1
Yeah, look
I don't do drugs, I'm addicted to the pain though
Yeah, I been on it for a while, dunno how to put it down
Gotta have it, it's a habit I'ma break though
I just wanna take a hit, keep sayin' I'ma quit
Keep sayin' I'ma leave, but I stay though
I just want a little fix, I don't wanna take a risk
I don't like it when I drift from the safe zone
But lately, I been thinkin' I'ma have to
Lettin' go of things that I'm attached to
World don't stop just because I'm in a bad mood
You don't know what love is 'til you holdin' onto somethin' that you can't lose
I swear I'm tryna get it together
Sleeves up, puttin' work in, tryna be better
I like to rap, but I ain't gon' do it forever
Forget the charts, I've been focusing' on holdin' my head up
Moment I get up, I just wanna know I'm doin' my best
And if I'm not, Lord forgive me, you can have the regrets
'Cause I can feel the water tryna go up over my head
Most of my life, I always felt like I was holdin' my breath
Holdin' my chest, to be honest, so I'm tired of it
Lookin' for somethin' in my life to be inspired again
I like to walk around and act like I don't know what it is
But I know what it is, I just never wanna commit
Chorus
Runnin' from change
I'm lookin' for change
I'm searchin' for change
I'm lookin' for change
I just want, I just want change
Verse 2
Yeah, I don't like new things
Got a lot of mood swings
Oh, you wanna tell me somethin' negative?
I don't wanna hear what you think
Yeah, tossin' in my sleep
Every night for like two weeks
Thinkin' 'bout how I could have done this or done that better
Can't help it, that's just me
Lies, that's me avoidin' the change
Yeah, that's probably why the issues ain't goin' away
Yeah, that's probably why I always sit around and complain
Tellin' myself that I ain't never gettin' out of this place
Out of my face if you tellin' me I need to be different
That's the issue though, I'm always insecurity-driven
Takin' the wrong turns, actin' like I know where I'm headed
Waitin' for somethin' bad to happen, I can snap any minute
I need change
Yeah, that's kinda easy to say, right?
But difficult to do when I feel like I hate life
And everyone around me kinda thinks I'm a great guy
But I don't ever think it so I think I'm a fake liar
Change
It's somethin' that I know I should do
I'm a little uncomfortable, to tell you the truth
But to be honest with you lately, I got nothin' to lose
See, I've always been full of pain, but now I'm makin' some room
Chorus
Lookin' for change
I'm lookin' for change
I'm searchin' for change
I'm lookin' for change
I just want, I just want??"
Verse 3
I need a moment of silence
I don't like change, but I'll try it
I don't wanna hear what I should or I shouldn't do
Why are they always defiant?
See, all my emotions are liars
All my emotions are violent
They don't want freedom to find me
Mention a name and everybody riots (Change)
Yeah, that's why I'm checkin' my vitals
They keep on workin', but I know
Breathin' don't mean you're alive, so
I bag up all of my trash and walk out on my tightrope
Positive thoughts are my rivals (Change)
I'm tryna be on their side though
Should I feel comfortable? I don't
Last year, I felt suicidal
This year, I might do somethin' different like talkin' to God more
Chorus
I'm lookin' for change
I'm lookin' for (Yeah)
I'm searchin' for change
I'm lookin' for
I just want, I just want change
I'm lookin' for (Yeah)
I'm searchin' for change
I'm lookin' for, yeah (Ayy, ayy)
I just want, I just want change
Yeah, I'm lookin' for (Lookin' for)
I'm searchin' for change
I'm lookin' for (Yeah)
I just want, I just want change
I'm lookin' for (Ayy)
I'm searchin' for change (Ayy)
I'm lookin' for, yeah
I just want, I just want change
Video
NF - Change (Audio)
Meaning & Inspiration
NF’s "Change" is an exercise in the grueling, messy reality of sanctification. We often sanitize this process, turning the movement from glory to glory into a tidy narrative of instant victory. But Nathan Feuerstein (NF) strips that away, offering something much closer to the brutal honesty of the Psalmist crying out from the pit.
He drops a line that hits with the force of a tectonic plate: "All my emotions are liars / All my emotions are violent."
In a culture that elevates "following your heart" to a pseudo-religion, this is an act of defiance. We are a people governed by the affective—if we feel it, it must be the truth of our reality. But the doctrine of total depravity reminds us that the heart is deceptive above all things and desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9). NF identifies his own internal landscape as a source of insurrection. He realizes that his feelings don't just mislead him; they actively fight against his liberty. It’s an acknowledgment that the "old man" doesn't go down without a brawl. To recognize that your own internal states are enemies of your spiritual health is the first step toward actual repentance.
He follows this with a stark observation: "Breathin’ don’t mean you’re alive, so / I bag up all of my trash and walk out on my tightrope."
This feels like an echo of the theological tension between physical existence and spiritual vitality. You can be biologically functioning—checking your vitals—and yet be utterly dead in transgressions. It’s a terrifying thought. The "trash" he’s bagging up is the debris of a life spent avoiding the pruning work of the Spirit. But he’s walking a tightrope, and that’s where the theology gets heavy.
We talk about the "change" he’s looking for as if it were a self-improvement project. But listen to the closing movement: "This year, I might do somethin’ different like talkin’ to God more."
Is it anemic? It’s not a systematic treatise on grace. It is, however, an honest posture of a man realizing his own resources are bankrupt. There is a profound, quiet weight in admitting that your previous year was defined by darkness—even suicidal ideation—and that your only pivot point is a decision to actually engage the Creator. It’s not the language of a saint standing on the mountaintop; it’s the language of someone realizing they need an External Agent to perform the surgery they cannot finish themselves.
He hasn't arrived. The song ends in a loop of seeking, which is perhaps the most theological part of the record. We are always in a state of becoming. Sanctification is not a destination; it is a violent, daily stripping away of the self. NF captures the exhaustion of that reality, leaving us with a man still standing on that tightrope, hoping the One he’s talking to is actually listening. And in that uncertainty, there is a stubborn, flickering hope.