Living Together Before Marriage: A Biblical Perspective

Discover the biblical perspective on cohabitation and premarital sex. Learn why living together before marriage is not aligned with Christian values.

Is Living Together Before Marriage Wrong?

When it comes to the question of whether living together before marriage is wrong, the answer can be complex. It depends on how we define "living together." If we simply mean sharing the same living space without any sexual connotation, then technically, it is not wrong. However, this is not typically what people mean when they talk about living together. In most cases, living together refers to cohabitation, which involves sharing a home and having a sexual relationship.

From a biblical perspective, cohabitation or having sex before marriage is considered sinful. The Bible condemns all forms of sexual immorality, including premarital sex. Scripture is clear in promoting abstinence outside of marriage and maintaining sexual purity (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5; Jude 1:7).

Living together, as commonly understood, goes against these biblical teachings. It involves engaging in sexual activity with someone to whom you are not married. Although society may increasingly accept cohabitation, it does not change the biblical perspective on premarital sex.

Even among Christians, there is a growing acceptance of living together before marriage. Some argue that it allows couples to test their compatibility before committing to marriage. However, research suggests that living together before marriage does not make a future marriage stronger. In fact, studies have shown that cohabiting couples are more likely to divorce compared to those who did not cohabit before marriage.

The Biblical Perspective

Let's delve deeper into the biblical perspective on living together before marriage. The Bible consistently upholds the sanctity of marriage and emphasizes the importance of sexual purity. Here are a few key passages:

1. 1 Corinthians 6:18

The apostle Paul writes, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." This verse highlights the seriousness of sexual immorality and the need to avoid it.

2. Ephesians 5:3

Paul instructs believers, "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints." This verse emphasizes the importance of maintaining sexual purity and avoiding any hint of immorality.

3. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

Paul writes, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God." These verses emphasize the need to abstain from sexual immorality and to honor God with our bodies.

These passages, along with many others, clearly convey the biblical perspective on sexual purity and the importance of abstaining from sexual activity outside of marriage.

The Consequences of Cohabitation

Besides the biblical perspective, there are practical reasons to consider avoiding cohabitation. Living together can create temptations and compromising situations that can lead to sexual immorality. Even if a couple intends to abstain from sex, sharing a living space can be a tremendous temptation.

Additionally, cohabitation gives the appearance of immorality to others. It can be challenging for people to assume that a man and a woman sharing the same living space are not sexually active. As Christians, we have a responsibility to maintain a good testimony before an unbelieving world and avoid causing others to stumble.

Furthermore, research suggests that cohabitation does not lead to stronger marriages. Studies have shown that cohabiting couples have a higher likelihood of divorce compared to those who did not live together before marriage. This indicates that living together may not provide a solid foundation for a lasting and fulfilling marital relationship.

Alternative Options for Unmarried Couples

If an unmarried couple is currently living together, they have a few options to consider:

1. Continue living together: This option goes against biblical teachings and may lead to further temptations and compromise.


2. Find separate living quarters: This option allows the couple to maintain their commitment to sexual purity and avoid compromising situations.


3. Get married: This option involves getting married sooner rather than later. It allows the couple to honor God's design for marriage and establish a solid foundation for their relationship.

Choosing to get married sooner rather than later can be a wise and godly choice for couples who are already living together. They can have a simple legal ceremony to make their marriage official and then plan a more elaborate celebration later.

Conclusion

While society may increasingly accept and even promote cohabitation, the biblical perspective on living together before marriage remains unchanged. Scripture consistently upholds the importance of sexual purity and abstinence outside of marriage. Additionally, research indicates that cohabitation does not lead to stronger marriages and may even increase the likelihood of divorce.

As Christians, we are called to honor God in all aspects of our lives, including our relationships. Choosing to abstain from cohabitation and sexual activity before marriage aligns with biblical teachings and promotes a healthy and lasting relationship. Instead of living together, unmarried couples can explore alternative options, such as finding separate living arrangements or getting married sooner rather than later.

Ultimately, the decision rests with each individual and couple. It is essential to seek God's guidance and wisdom, study His Word, and surround ourselves with wise counsel as we navigate the complexities of relationships and pursue a life that honors Him.