Sex Before Marriage: Navigating Boundaries and Honoring God

Discover the Christian perspective on sex before marriage. Explore the biblical teachings and the importance of personal convictions in this modern age.

Sex Before Marriage: A Modern Perspective

In today's society, the view on sex before marriage has become increasingly relaxed. A study conducted in the United States found that a staggering 75 percent of American teenagers have engaged in premarital sex. As individuals grow older, this number climbs even higher, with 95 percent of unmarried individuals engaging in premarital sex by the time they reach the age of 44 (Finer, L. Public Health Reports, The Guttmacher Institute, January-February 2007, vol 122, pp 73-78).

Even among those who identify as Christians, there is a shifting perspective on premarital sex. According to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, 57 percent of U.S. adults who identify as Christians believe that premarital sex is sometimes or always acceptable when in a committed relationship (Pew Research Center, https://pewrsr.ch/3lJyBBE, accessed 11/8/22).

These statistics may be alarming to Christians who adhere to the teachings of the Bible. Scripture provides clear guidance on the matter of sexual immorality, such as in Ephesians 5:3, which states, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity... because these are improper for God's holy people." This command sets a strict standard, prohibiting any form of sexual immorality among God's followers.

For Christians, determining the appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage is a personal decision that each couple must make. The Bible categorizes fornication as sinful, making sexual intercourse before marriage off limits. Other sexual acts, such as oral or anal sex, would also fall under the definition of fornication. However, the boundaries should be even stricter than that; anything that even hints at sexual immorality is deemed inappropriate for a Christian.

While the Bible does not provide an exhaustive list of activities that hint at immorality, the underlying principle is clear: sexual immorality should not exist among God's people. There should never be an occasion for others to accuse believers of engaging in such behavior. Any accusation of immorality within the church should be wholly untrue.

Setting Boundaries

So, where should the line be drawn when it comes to physical intimacy before marriage? How much is too much? As the sexual act itself is wrong for unmarried couples, any behavior that leads to it should also be curtailed. Therefore, activities typically associated with foreplay, which serve as a natural prelude to sexual intercourse, should be restricted to married couples. This would include actions such as fondling, nudity, and engaging in erotic conversations or behaviors.

It is essential for an unmarried Christian couple to know their own convictions and adhere to them. Some couples may draw the line at light kissing, while others may choose to refrain from even holding hands. Each couple must establish their boundaries based on their own conscience and understanding of God's Word. The most important aspect is that each individual believer is allowed to live according to their own convictions, without violating their conscience (Romans 14:23).

It is important to remember that as Christians, we have been set apart by God for His holy purposes, and it is our responsibility to avoid all forms of sexual immorality. Scripture provides strong warnings on this matter. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7, it states, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins... For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."

According to these verses, all sexual activity, including foreplay, should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, gives the appearance of immorality, or violates their conscience.

The Importance of Personal Convictions

While the Bible provides guidelines, it is important to note that individual convictions may vary. Each person has their own unique relationship with God, and their understanding of what is appropriate may differ. Some individuals may feel comfortable with more physical intimacy than others. It is crucial to respect these differences and not impose our personal convictions on others.

As Christians, we are called to live a life of holiness and honor God with our bodies. This means making choices that align with our personal convictions and seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit. If there is any doubt or uncertainty about whether an activity is right for an unmarried couple, it is best to err on the side of caution and abstain.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the modern view of sex before marriage has become increasingly lax. However, for Christians who take the Bible seriously, the standard remains high. Scripture clearly states that sexual immorality should not exist among God's people, and any form of physical intimacy before marriage should be restricted to married couples. Each unmarried Christian couple must determine their own boundaries based on their personal convictions and understanding of God's Word. It is important to respect these boundaries and not impose our own convictions on others. Ultimately, our goal is to live a life that honors God and reflects His holiness.