Unequally Yoked: Why Christians Shouldn't Marry Non-Believers

Should a Christian marry a non-Christian? Discover what the Bible says and why it's important to align with God's teachings in relationships.

Should a Christian Marry a Non-Christian?

When it comes to relationships and marriage, Christians often wonder if it is acceptable to marry someone who does not share their faith. The Bible provides clear guidance on this matter, and it is important for Christians to remain obedient to the Lord's teachings.

The Biblical Guidance

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the apostle Paul advises, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." This imagery draws from farming, where two incompatible animals sharing the same yoke will constantly work against each other. The principle here is that in any close and united relationship, such as marriage, it is crucial for both individuals to share similar spiritual beliefs and goals. Being yoked with an unbeliever will result in constant friction and conflict.

While this passage does not specifically mention marriage, it has significant implications for it. Marriage is the closest and most intimate union between two individuals. Therefore, it should be a union of like-minded believers who can support and encourage each other in their faith. A Christian knowingly entering into a marriage with an unbeliever is, in essence, being "unequally yoked."

Furthermore, 2 Corinthians 6:15 asks, "What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" This question highlights the fundamental differences between a believer and an unbeliever. A marriage is meant to be a partnership, a relationship where two people are united in their values, beliefs, and commitment to God. If a Christian marries a non-Christian, they will find themselves constantly at odds with each other due to contrasting worldviews and priorities.

The Purpose of Dating

Before considering marriage, Christians often engage in dating to find a suitable life partner. However, it is essential to understand that the purpose of dating is to discover a potential spouse. Therefore, dating a non-Christian is unwise and counterproductive.

If marriage is the ultimate goal, dating a non-Christian leads to a dead-end relationship. The Bible does not provide any provision for a Christian to marry an unbeliever. Therefore, it makes no sense to invest time and emotions in a relationship that has no potential for a biblical marriage. It is like trying to catch a fish without baiting your hook.

Moreover, matters of the heart have a way of blinding us to other priorities. We see examples of this in the lives of Samson and King Solomon. Despite their strengths and wisdom, they allowed their romantic attachments to lead them astray from God's plan for their lives. Romantic attachment is a powerful force that can easily overshadow sound judgment and compromise one's commitment to God.

The Influence of Company

The Bible warns us in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" While not all non-Christians can be labeled as "bad company," there is an underlying spiritual principle at work. Light and darkness do not mix (2 Corinthians 6:14). A believer is "light in the Lord," while an unbeliever is "darkness." The two have differing values, perspectives, and lifestyles.

Living in close proximity with an unbeliever, especially in a romantic relationship, invites trouble and poses a risk to one's faith and spiritual growth. Even if the unbeliever does not exert an overtly negative influence, the differences in beliefs and perspectives can create tension and conflict. As Christians, we are called to "live as children of light" (Ephesians 5:8) and to surround ourselves with fellow believers who can support and strengthen our faith.

Missionary Dating

Some Christians engage in what is known as "missionary dating." This refers to a Christian dating a non-Christian with the intention of leading that person to faith in Christ. While evangelism is a noble goal, dating is not the appropriate avenue for such a mission.

Missionary dating often leads to compromising one's own faith and convictions. It is easy to become emotionally attached and overlook the fundamental differences in beliefs and values. While there may be instances where individuals have come to faith through missionary dating, it is not a reliable or recommended approach.

Choosing to date a non-Christian is not just a relational choice; it is also a spiritual choice that can impact one's faith. It is important to prioritize an uncompromised faith and seek relationships that align with our beliefs and values.

Conclusion

In summary, it is unwise and against biblical teachings for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. The Bible clearly advises against being "unequally yoked" with unbelievers, as it leads to constant conflict and hinders one's walk with Christ.

When it comes to dating, Christians should also exercise caution and wisdom. Dating should be purposeful, aiming to find a life partner who shares the same faith and values. Engaging in a romantic relationship with a non-Christian can be detrimental to one's faith and spiritual growth.

As Christians, we are called to be in spiritual union with other believers and to surround ourselves with fellow believers who can support and strengthen our faith. It is through these relationships that we can grow in our walk with Christ and fulfill our purpose as children of light.

Ultimately, the decision of whom to marry or date is a personal one, guided by prayer, seeking wise counsel, and aligning with biblical principles. By prioritizing our relationship with God and seeking His guidance, we can make choices that honor Him and lead to a fulfilling and God-honoring relationship.