Relient K - Where Do I Go from Here Lyrics
Lyrics
Leaving
May not be coming home
Needing
To know I'm not alone
Even
Though I can't feel a thing
Taking
Time to get over it
Making
The best of what won't quit
Breaking
Me down I can't feel a thing
Where do I go
Where do I stand
Where can I find myself again
Where do I go
If not disappear
Where do I go from here
Tracing
My steps right back to you
Racing
The clock to save an hour or two
And facing
The fact that I don't feel a thing
I'm dealing
With what I can't control
Feeling
Confused cause I don't know
If healing
Is when you don't feel a thing
Where do I go
Where do I stand
Where can I find myself again
Where do I go
If not disappear
Where do I go from
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
Whoa-oh
I still can't feel a thing
Video
Where Do I Go from Here?
Meaning & Inspiration
Relient K's profound introspection, "Where Do I Go from Here," emerged on July 1, 2008, as a significant track on their album *The Bird and the Bee Sides*. This song lays bare a raw, honest portrayal of disorientation and emotional numbness, capturing a universally resonant experience often described as a "dark night of the soul." It isn't a cheerful anthem, but rather a deeply human cry from the depths of confusion, giving voice to moments when faith feels distant and one’s own sense of self becomes elusive.
The song begins with the poignant admission of "Leaving / May not be coming home," immediately painting a picture of profound dislocation and uncertainty. This sense of being unmoored is coupled with an aching "Needing / To know I'm not alone," even as the capacity for feeling seems to have vanished: "Though I can't feel a thing." This opening speaks directly to the spiritual wilderness, where individuals can feel isolated from God and community, grappling with a pervasive emotional void. The subsequent verses describe the arduous attempt to navigate this state, "Taking / Time to get over it / Making / The best of what won't quit," yet ultimately feeling defeated by persistent struggles that "Breaking / Me down I can't feel a thing." This powerful imagery evokes the relentless nature of suffering, be it grief, anxiety, or spiritual dryness, which can strip away one's emotional defenses until nothing seems to register.
The core of the song's message, articulated in its chorus, is a desperate, searching prayer: "Where do I go / Where do I stand / Where can I find myself again / Where do I go / If not disappear / Where do I go from here." This is a cry for divine guidance and stability, a yearning to reclaim identity and purpose when everything feels lost. It echoes the psalmist’s lament, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalm 22:1), while simultaneously holding onto a desperate hope for direction. The question of "If not disappear" underscores a profound fear of irrelevance, a sense of fading away without a path forward. Yet, even in this vulnerable questioning, there's an implicit trust that an answer exists. The lyrics then suggest a longing for reconnection, "Tracing / My steps right back to you," perhaps back to God, to a foundational faith, or to a former sense of peace. This attempt to retrace steps is urgent, "Racing / The clock to save an hour or two," yet the emotional numbness persists: "And facing / The fact that I don't feel a thing."
This journey through emotional barrenness culminates in a crucial theological question: "I'm dealing / With what I can't control / Feeling / Confused cause I don't know / If healing / Is when you don't feel a thing." Here, the song challenges a common misconception about healing—that it’s merely the absence of pain or feeling. This thought process is a trap, mistaking numbness for restoration. True healing, as Scripture reveals, is often found *in* the midst of our weaknesses and struggles, not in their eradication. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 that God’s grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in weakness, allowing Christ's strength to reside in us. The song’s wrestling with uncontrollable circumstances resonates with Romans 8:26, where the Spirit helps us in our weakness, interceding with groans too deep for words. Even when we don't know how to pray or what to ask for, the Spirit is at work.
"Where Do I Go from Here" offers no neat resolution within its verses, concluding with the stark, relatable admission, "I still can't feel a thing." This isn't a statement of defeat but rather an honest portrayal of enduring the wilderness. It’s an invitation to persevere in faith even when emotions are dormant, when God feels silent, and clarity is elusive. This mirrors the biblical promise found in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." The absence of immediate feeling doesn't negate the presence of God or the reality of hope. Instead, it calls us to lean into the enduring truth of God's steadfastness, a truth that transcends our fleeting emotions. Even when we cannot feel Him, He is there, upholding us with His righteous right hand, as Isaiah 41:10 promises. The song, therefore, serves as a powerful anthem for those navigating spiritual valleys, reminding them that the search, the questioning, and even the numbness are part of a journey where God remains faithful, guiding us forward even when we cannot perceive the path. It ultimately inspires a quiet trust in God's presence, despite the immediate lack of tangible feeling.