Disciple - Misery Lyrics
Lyrics
(I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
All I want is your sympathy
Can't stop myself, can't keep it together
Cause I'm in love with the misery)
Don't try to tell me it's all for something
Don't try to tell me the scars were a part of the plan
Don't try to tell me I'm more than nothing
I found a comfort in being the victim
Look in my eyes
Do I seem fine
I'm not alright
I am so far from alright
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
All I want is your sympathy
Can't stop myself, can't keep it together
Cause I'm in love with the misery
I'll do the motions you seek
I'll pray the words that you speak
But you won't get to this heart locked inside of me
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
Cause I'm in love with the misery
(Misery, misery)
(M-misery, misery)
Would you pay any attention to me
Without the drama of hashtag so depressed
Don't try to take my excuses from me
Cause victims get a free license to put you through hell
Look in my eyes
There is no disguise
I'm not alright
I'm beginning to believe my lies, yeah
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
All I want is your sympathy
Can't stop myself, can't keep it together
Cause I'm in love with the misery
I'll do the motions you seek
I'll pray the words that you speak
But you won't get to this heart locked inside of me
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
Cause I'm in love with the misery
(Misery, misery)
(M-misery, misery)
(Misery, misery)
(M-misery, misery)
Wah-tah!
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
Give me the misery
Can't stop myself, can't keep it together
Cause I'm in love with the misery
I'll do the motions you seek
I'll pray the words that you speak
But you won't get to this heart locked inside of me
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
Cause I'm in love with misery
(Misery, misery)
(M-misery, misery)
I don't want help, I don't wanna get better
Cause I'm in love with the misery
Video
Disciple- Misery (Lyric Video)
Meaning & Inspiration
Disciple's "Misery," featured on their 2020 album *Love Letter Kill Shot (Deluxe)*, plunges into the disquieting allure of despair, offering a raw and unflinching exploration of a soul that actively embraces its own brokenness. This isn't a song about overcoming hardship; rather, it's a stark confession of finding a perverse comfort in suffering, a state where help is not only unwanted but actively rejected in favor of sympathy. The narrative presented is one of deliberate self-imprisonment, where the protagonist finds validation and attention through their perceived victimhood, a cycle fueled by a deep-seated love for the very misery that defines them.
The lyrical landscape of "Misery" paints a vivid picture of someone entrenched in their pain, viewing any attempts at healing or understanding as intrusions. The repeated refrain, "I don't want help, I don't wanna get better," underscores a profound resistance to change, a chosen resignation that prioritizes the familiar ache over the uncertainty of recovery. This sentiment echoes the struggle against acknowledging God's redemptive power, a temptation to remain in darkness rather than step into the light. The lyrics reveal a person who has become so accustomed to their narrative of suffering that they believe it's their only source of identity and attention. This mirrors the biblical warning against allowing our trials to define us in a way that separates us from God’s purpose, as illustrated in Jeremiah 17:9, which states, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" The song's persona actively pushes away those who offer genuine support, opting instead for the superficial solace derived from pity, suggesting a profound disconnect from the transformative love that Christ offers.
Further delving into the meaning, the song articulates a deep-seated insecurity, a belief that their worth is intrinsically tied to their struggles. The line, "Would you pay any attention to me without the drama of hashtag so depressed," points to a manufactured identity built around affliction, a cry for recognition that bypasses true connection. This echoes the snare of seeking validation from the world rather than from our Creator, who sees our true worth. The lyrics express a cynical detachment, stating, "I'll do the motions you seek, I'll pray the words that you speak, but you won't get to this heart locked inside of me." This internal fortification, this deliberate barring of access to one's true self, is a powerful metaphor for the spiritual isolation that occurs when one refuses God’s invitation for healing and vulnerability. It speaks to the pride that can keep us bound, preventing us from receiving the grace that is freely offered. The acknowledgment, "I'm beginning to believe my lies," is particularly poignant, highlighting how self-deception can become a deeply ingrained reality when left unchecked, a stark contrast to the truth found in Christ, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Ultimately, "Misery" serves as a somber testament to the destructive power of embracing despair, a poignant reminder of the spiritual warfare involved in choosing comfort in brokenness over the liberation found in surrender to divine love and healing.