Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was Lyrics
Lyrics
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you some time ago
But I never got to tell you so...
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wondered if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
Thinkin' its a funny thing
Figured out I could sing
Now I'm not who I was
Write about love and such
Maybe cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinkin' maybe I
Should let you know
That I am not the same
That I never did forget your name
Hello...
Oooo Nah nah nah nah nah
And the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was...
Video
Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was
Meaning & Inspiration
Brandon Heath's "I'm Not Who I Was," released in 2006 as part of his album *Don't Get Comfortable*, is a profound exploration of transformation, offering a powerful testament to the redemptive work of grace. The song opens with a poignant reflection, the artist expressing a desire to show someone from his past how different he has become. This immediately sets a tone of introspection and growth, as he acknowledges past hurt and anger towards this individual. The core message, that "I'm not who I was," becomes a refrain of liberation from the chains of old resentments and a declaration of a renewed self.
The narrative unfolds with a mature recognition that forgiveness, though found within, was never fully communicated. This suggests a journey of internal healing that predates outward reconciliation, a common experience for those who have grappled with deep-seated pain. The lyric, "I found us in a photograph, I saw me and I had to laugh," vividly illustrates this shift. Seeing his past self, perhaps burdened by the very anger he's now shed, brings a sense of almost humorous distance, reinforcing his departure from that former state. The questions about love directed at the person in the photograph, "And I wondered if you ever loved me, just for who I was," speak to a deep-seated need for unconditional acceptance, a longing that the song ultimately finds fulfillment in a higher love.
The recurring pain that resurfaces, described as a "bitter friend," highlights the ongoing battle against ingrained emotional patterns. Yet, instead of succumbing to blame, the songwriter discovers a newfound strength. This pivotal moment of self-discovery, where he realizes "I could sing," marks a turning point. It is through this creative expression, through artfully articulating his experiences, that his transformation solidifies. His songwriting now centers on love, fueled by a profound yearning, suggesting that his own experience of receiving love has awakened this desire to both understand and express it. This echoes the biblical understanding that we love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).
The desire to reach out and inform the past, "I was thinkin' maybe I should let you know, that I am not the same," is a courageous act of asserting his present reality. It's not about seeking validation, but about acknowledging the significance of the journey and the change. The song’s powerful conclusion draws a direct parallel to the transformative nature of God’s grace. Heath articulates that the most astounding aspect of "amazing grace" is the "chance to give it out." This is the essence of Christian discipleship: experiencing God's unmerited favor and then being compelled to extend that same grace to others. This principle is deeply rooted in Scripture, as Jesus taught in the parable of the unforgiving servant, emphasizing the importance of forgiving others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 18:21-35). The song concludes with the same earnest wish as its opening, a yearning to share the full extent of this positive metamorphosis, a journey marked by healing, forgiveness, and the profound realization of love's power, mirroring the biblical call to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) and to live lives that reflect the love we have received.