Today I started lovin' you again
I'm right back where I've really always been
I got over you just long enough
To let my heartaches mend
Then today I started lovin' you again
What a fool I was
To think I could get by
With only these few million tears I've cried
I should have known the worst was yet to come
And that crying time for me has just begun
Today I started lovin' you again
And I'm right back where I've really always been
I got over you just long enough
To let my heartaches mend
Then today I started lovin' you again
I got over you just long enough
To let my heartaches mend
Then today I started lovin' you again
Merle Haggard & Tammy Wynette "Today I Started lovin' You Ag
Today I Started Lovin' You Again Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration
The song "Today I Started Lovin' You Again," performed by B.J. Thomas, is a poignant exploration of enduring heartbreak and the cyclical nature of grief after losing a significant love. The lyrics immediately establish a return to a state of pain, describing a moment where the process of moving on, however brief, is undone. The phrase "I'm right back where I've really always been" powerfully conveys a sense of being fundamentally defined by this lost relationship, suggesting that true separation or recovery feels impossible or temporary at best. The slight respite where heartaches could supposedly mend is highlighted as fragile and ultimately insufficient against the depth of the original wound.
The second stanza delves into the self-recrimination and overwhelming nature of the sorrow. The narrator labels their previous attempts to cope as foolish, realizing that the "few million tears" shed were merely the beginning. This highlights a profound misunderstanding of the pain's magnitude, suggesting that the initial period of intense grief was just a prelude to a longer, more complex, and recurring struggle. The line "crying time for me has just begun" is particularly stark, implying that the journey through heartbreak is far from over and may, in fact, be a continuous state rather than a temporary phase to be overcome.
This theme of inescapable emotional gravity is reinforced in the final repetitions. The return to "lovin' you again" isn't depicted as a choice but almost as an inevitable pull, a default state the heart reverts to once its brief attempt at healing fails. The insistence on being "right back where I've really always been" underscores the feeling of being permanently altered or anchored by the lost love, unable to truly escape its influence or the pain it left behind. The narrative structure, returning to the opening lines, mirrors the cyclical nature of the experience described, where moments of apparent recovery are swallowed by the resurgence of deep-seated feelings and sorrow.
Originally written by Merle Haggard and Bonnie Owens, "Today I Started Lovin' You Again" has become a staple of country music and beyond, covered by numerous artists over the decades, including a notable version by B.J. Thomas. The song's enduring appeal lies in its raw honesty about the difficulty of letting go and the unexpected ways grief can return even after periods of apparent healing. While the provided background includes a video featuring Merle Haggard & Tammy Wynette released in 2007, this represents a later recording by different artists, showcasing the song's lasting legacy and its continued resonance across generations of performers and listeners who connect with its powerful depiction of persistent heartbreak.
The song's message, while steeped in sorrow, can also be viewed through a lens of understanding and compassion for the human condition. It speaks to the depth of love and the significant impact its loss can have, acknowledging that healing is not always linear or permanent. It validates the experience of those who feel stuck in a cycle of pain, offering a lyrical companion to their struggle. The acknowledgment of the vastness of the "crying time" can, paradoxically, be a source of connection for listeners grappling with similar feelings, letting them know they are not alone in the complex, often messy, process of dealing with profound loss.
Scripture offers various perspectives that might resonate with the themes explored in the song. For example, passages speaking to deep sorrow and weeping, such as Psalm 6:6, "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping," reflect the overwhelming physical manifestation of grief. The feeling of being unable to escape a difficult emotional state might find echoes in verses like Psalm 42:3, "My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, 'Where is your God?'" highlighting the persistent nature of sorrow. Furthermore, the concept of the heart as the seat of deep emotions, both love and pain, is central in scripture, as seen in Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life," which, while focusing on guarding the heart, acknowledges its central role in our emotional existence. The song's raw depiction of a heart unable to fully mend speaks to the profound vulnerability and enduring nature of the heart's attachments described in various biblical texts.
Ultimately, "Today I Started Lovin' You Again" remains a classic because it articulates a truth about heartbreak that many experience but find difficult to express: the journey through loss is often unpredictable, marked by steps forward and frustrating steps back, a testament to the lasting power of love and the complex, sometimes painful, resilience of the human heart. It is a song that speaks directly to the reality that some emotional wounds heal slowly, if ever completely, reminding listeners that feeling the pain again, even after a period of respite, is a valid part of the human experience.