I remember that long cold night
How dark it was
Heart broke blinds closed
Didn’t even wanna see the sun
Like a refugee with nowhere to run
Lies in my mind held me hostage like a loaded gun
Tellin me I had no one
God I was too prideful to pick up that phone
Three a.m. I knew I needed help
But man I didn’t want anyone else to know
I was losing it
Somewhere between the deepest hell
And lowest low
I heard a voice from overhead
Sayin’ “son, don’t you dare let go”
I looked up
I looked up
From the bottom and I saw You
It was all You
I looked up
I looked up
From the bottom and I saw You
It was all You
I was at my lowest that night on August sixth
Trying to wrestle with all the pain and hell
I was dealing with
Punching holes, throwing blows, pitching fits
Trying not to drown
Wasn’t feeling like I was good enough
Knew I just couldn’t ever keep this up
Started sinking underneath from all this endless over-thinking
How could I forget, I can’t forget spending forty days in the wilderness
Feeling like I messed up too bad
So bad I’d never get out of it
Ain’t it funny how heaven comes in the least expected ways
My roommate in rehab looked over at me
Said it’s gonna be okay then
Sunday morning I just kept
Circling the Church
My heart was beating out of my chest
Couldn’t make a sound or even say a word
Tried to pick up my phone
Call my wife and tell her how I feel
But my hands were heavy as two stones
Ten and two, stuck on the steering wheel
How do you worship when your soul ain’t got a song to sing
It’s hard to remember when your heart forgets the melody, Jesus
When all I had was Your name on my lips
That’s when I sent an SOS to heaven
And heaven broke in to come and rescue me
Sometimes I gotta look back at the man I was
To remember just how far You brought me, how far I’ve come, all those little victories won
I’m so glad You always see the best in me
You always knew the man that I could be
From the moment I got down on my knees
I Looked Up
I Looked Up Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration
"I Looked Up" by Sons Of Sunday offers a raw and vulnerable portrayal of hitting rock bottom and finding a path towards recovery and hope. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of deep emotional pain, starting with a "long cold night," a broken heart, and a profound sense of isolation. The narrator describes feeling like a "refugee with nowhere to run," held captive by negative thoughts and pride that prevented him from reaching out for help even when he knew he desperately needed it. The personal struggle with inner turmoil, the feeling of losing control, and the reluctance to let others see his vulnerability are central to the initial verses, capturing the weight of despair and the fight against drowning in overwhelming emotions.
The song reaches a pivotal moment when, at his "lowest low," the narrator describes hearing a voice from overhead telling him not to give up. This leads to the powerful refrain, "I looked up... from the bottom and I saw You." This signifies a turning point, shifting the focus from the depths of despair to seeking and finding a higher power or source of strength. The repetition of "It was all You" emphasizes the recognition that rescue and transformation came from outside himself, specifically identified in the lyrics as "You," representing God. This echoes the biblical theme of crying out to God in distress and receiving help, as described in passages like Psalm 18:6, which says, "In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him into his ears."
The narrative continues, detailing specific low points like a night on August sixth filled with wrestling pain and lashing out, feeling inadequate, and sinking under the pressure of overthinking. The mention of a "forty days in the wilderness" experience and feeling too messed up to ever get out further illustrates a period of intense testing and isolation, referencing a common biblical motif of testing and preparation during difficult times. Despite the difficulty, the song highlights unexpected moments of grace, such as encouragement from a roommate in rehab. The struggle to engage in worship when the soul lacks a "song to sing" and the heart "forgets the melody" powerfully convey the depth of the emotional and spiritual challenge. However, the act of simply having "Your name on my lips" became the "SOS to heaven," leading to divine intervention and rescue, which resonates with promises in scripture like Jeremiah 29:12-13, which encourages calling upon God, praying to Him, and seeking Him with all your heart to find Him.
Ultimately, "I Looked Up" becomes a testament to how far the narrator has come, achieved by looking back at the man he was and acknowledging the transformative power that lifted him out of despair. The song concludes with a powerful reflection on God's unwavering belief in him and the moment of surrender ("got down on my knees"). This journey from darkness and brokenness to hope and recovery, facilitated by faith and the decision to "look up," provides a message of perseverance and the possibility of rescue even from the deepest pits. The song video was released on February 28, 2025.
