Sandi Patty - When I Heal Lyrics
Lyrics
Shooting arrows in the darkness.
Holding fire in your hands.
Oh and yesterday's forsaken
Cause the innocence was taken away.
And so the ashes blow around me.
My fears rise up to fan the flame.
But in the midst of all my sorrow,
I hear a distant sweet tomorrow
Call my name.
(Chorus):
When I heal,
When I learn,
When I face all that I've been running from.
When I see,
When I know that my time has come.
When I can feel the sun again,
Now the morning light's my friend.
When the ash is a flame.
When I heal.
Secrets locked away deep inside.
Shadows are never far behind.
But what rattles in the closet
Can be driven from the darkness today.
(Chorus)
Climbing the stairway of regrets,
It's hard to fathom what he forgives, he forgets.
(Chorus)
(Repeat 2x):
I can feel the sun again,
Now the morning light's my friend.
When the ash is a flame.
When I heal.
Video
When I Heal
Meaning & Inspiration
Released in 1994 as part of Sandi Patty's album "Find It on the Wings," "When I Heal" is a profound exploration of the arduous journey towards recovery and spiritual wholeness. The song doesn't shy away from the stark reality of pain and trauma, opening with imagery of "shooting arrows in the darkness" and "holding fire," signifying the active engagement with suffering and the sting of lost innocence. The feeling of being surrounded by ashes and the rise of fear as fuels for existing sorrow paints a vivid picture of someone trapped in the aftermath of deep hurts, where past experiences have been "forsaken" and "taken away." This initial vulnerability resonates with the human condition, acknowledging the weight of past wounds that can feel overwhelming.
However, the song masterfully pivots from despair to hope, announcing a "distant sweet tomorrow" calling out by name. This heralds the central theme: healing is not a passive state but an active process, contingent upon intentional steps. The chorus, "When I heal, When I learn, When I face all that I've been running from," articulates this core message with unwavering clarity. It's a declaration of intent, a commitment to confronting the unresolved issues that hold us captive. This mirrors the biblical call to turn from darkness and embrace the light, as Paul writes in Ephesians 5:11, "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." The recognition that "my time has come" implies a readiness, a spiritual preparedness to embrace the transformation that awaits. The anticipation of feeling the sun again, with "morning light's my friend," and the transformation of ashes into flame, powerfully symbolize rebirth and the emergence of something beautiful and strong from what was once desolate. This transformation finds resonance in Isaiah 61:3, which speaks of providing for those who grieve in Zion, granting them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
The second verse delves into the internal struggles, speaking of "secrets locked away deep inside" and "shadows never far behind." This speaks to the often-hidden battles we wage with our past, the internal closets that hold our deepest fears and regrets. The powerful line, "what rattles in the closet can be driven from the darkness today," offers an empowering perspective: the power to overcome these internal demons lies within our grasp, through facing them head-on. This echoes the promise in John 1:5, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." The acknowledgment that climbing the "stairway of regrets" is difficult, and the contemplation of forgiveness, particularly "what he forgives, he forgets," points towards a divine grace that offers ultimate absolution and liberation from the burden of past mistakes. This is a direct allusion to God's boundless mercy, as expressed in Hebrews 8:12: "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." "When I Heal" is not merely a song about personal struggle; it is a testament to the enduring power of faith and the transformative grace that awaits those who bravely step into the process of healing, learning, and facing their truth, ultimately finding solace and renewal.